"Well, She Isn't Taking Anything for it, is She?" And Other Things Not to Say To/About Someone With Postpartum Mood Disorders

This post is not meant to be snarky, although it might sound that way.

1) See the title of this post. Someone actually said that to my mother about me when this person found out I was having some problems. This person is not a believer in medicine (obviously) but come on. "What can I do to help?", "I remember how difficult it is to be a first-time mother" or even a flaccid catch-all remark such as "Oh, really?" would be preferable.

2) "You should go shopping." Shopping can be substituted with a variety of rejuvenating activities such as "...take some time for yourself," "...relax" or "...get out of the house for a while." These pick-me-ups won't help a suffering mother, guaranteed.

3) "You really need to calm down." This one is courtesy of a doctor in the pediatric practice that we use! I saw her the other day at my kids' 10 and 8 year old checkups and wondered if she remembered me or if she was still saying that to moms. It's not that we don't want to be calm, it's that we are unable to think logically at the moment. It would be great if a doctor (or anyone) telling us to calm down actually worked, but unfortunately, it doesn't. It also makes the mother feel like an idiot, and she already feels bad enough.

Click here for another great list of what not to say!