I Was About to Cry!!! Oh Wait, No I Wasn't

Nicole, my 10-year-old, is at a sleep-away camp this week. She has never been to this type of camp before. I think it's so awesome! I'm certain she is having a great time and I am really excited about this new adventure for her. And apparently, there's something wrong with my brain. I didn't cry when she left. I didn't think it was hard. It didn't even occur to me to be sad or start crying or be worried, because I just don't think that way. I was at a birthday party over the weekend with Caitlin and I mentioned to one of the other parents that Nicole had left earlier in the day for the sleep-away camp. "That must have been so hard for you!" she said. Uhm, not really. Without fail, I love watching the "growing up" milestones - birthdays, starting/ending a school year, losing teeth, getting rid of old things the kids can no longer use - I can't understand why these sorts of events would make parents sad, because they actually make me really excited and happy for my kids. Sure, I got a little nostalgic and refused to get rid of a few baby outfits and toys, and I save a lot of the kids' artwork because I don't want to throw it away. I thought it was strange dropping my babies off at daycare after my maternity leave was over, but I didn't cry. From my experience, I'm pretty much the only mom on the planet who behaves this way. I know there must be someone else out there like me. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

GRRRRRRRR

OK, it's been half a decade since I've had to put a diaper on anybody, but this sort of thing still irritates me to death. Airline with a changing table in the lavatory? Great!! Advertising said changing table on the lavatory door so people know it's there? Awesome!! Said advertising showing a picture of a woman changing the diaper? AUGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHH!!!!! Now I'm the furthest thing from a rabid feminazi, but this type of illustration strikes me as beyond antiquated. I'm thinking back to the days when women only wore dresses and babies drank from glass bottles. Further, where is the baby daddy during Operation Diaper Change? Reading the inflight magazine? Sleeping? Taking a crap in the other lavatory of the airplane? Out with his mistress? Come on, people. It isn't just moms who change diapers these days, although it seems women still end up with more than their fair share of parenting duties. At least have a stick person in pants changing the diaper. Ahhhhh. I feel much better now, thanks!

Just When You Think You've Seen It All at the Gym...

OK, so we all know the gym is full of... ahem... interesting people. My particular gym is home to Scarily Thin Elliptical Machine Chick Who Should Probably Be Spending More Time in the Cafe Downstairs, Weird Skinhead Neo-Nazi-looking Dude With a Billion Tattoos and a Scraggly Beard, and last but certainly not least, Dudes Who Make Porno Noises When They Lift Weights That Are Too Heavy. I should certainly be used to the occasional strange sight at the gym by now, but I had to do a double-take when I was on the treadmill the other day and saw an excerpt of a Gym Towel Folding Contest on the TV. Yes, you heard me. A Gym Towel Folding Contest. I was too busy trying to keep from giving myself an aortic fissure (typical day at the gym) and thinking "WTF" (due to said TV programming) to pay much attention to the narrative on the contest itself, but here is what I was able to get out of it. It appeared as though the contest was open to gym employees who were given the unenviable task of folding a large pile of towels while being timed by the judges. After the towels were folded, the judges verified the aesthetic beauty of each folded towel in the pile to determine the true winner. These are just regular folded towels, mind you, not towels in the shape of swans, hearts, or other complex designs. The first prize winner received a large cash purse (I believe it was $1,000) and the second prize winner received something like $500. I wonder what other crazy things my gym dues are paying for!

An Actual Deep Thought (or as deep as it gets for me)

I was cleaning the kitchen this morning and began pondering some of the great paradoxes (paradoxii?) of life. Why is it that most things that are necessary (ie. cleaning the kitchen and other chores) have to be boring as hell? If we as humans were not interested in the end result of said boring activities, I'm convinced we would all be living in squalor, somewhat akin to those people on "Hoarders." For that matter, why does most great tasting food have to be crappy for your health? I love salads and other healthy things, but let's face it, if you put Tostitos and a thing of Frito-Lay queso dip in front of my face, the salad would lose, hands down!! SO unfair. And then let's discuss going to the gym. You know you'll feel really good afterwards due to endorphins or whatever those workout hormone thingies are called, but for some reason you just don't feel like dragging yourself to the gym! What gives? Working out is good for you, but it's still WORK (hence the name). Well, that's enough more than enough thinking for a Saturday morning. I don't want to give myself a brain aneurysm! Besides, I have more boring chores to do. :)