Mmmmmm.... Slim Jims

I swear Slim Jims are laced with crack. What an addiction!! That's the last time I buy a box of Slim Jims from COSTCO of all places. Nom nom nom.....

Cross-Posting

Today I posted an entry on my other blog at Open Salon. This will count for my daily blog entry on here. It's my New Year's Resolution, so I make the rules!! :)

Time Keeps Escaping Me

Cole is out of town and I wanted to spend this evening writing a nice long blog entry about a meaningful topic. As you can probably guess, I'm not going to get to it. I think a warm shower followed by TV watching is on tap instead. Maybe someday I'll get to complete the type of writing I've been envisioning... :)

Awesome Entertainment

You may recall this blog post where I discussed the participation of my kids' elementary school in the Giant A+ Principal Challenge contest. Well, today was the school-wide assembly where all the children got to see the Principal, the Assistant Principal and the Administrative Intern sing Justin Bieber's "Baby" live on stage! I left work and went to the school just to watch the performance. It was sooo funny. The Principal was a riot as Justin Bieber and the Assistant Principal did an awesome job filling in as Ludacris. The Administrative Intern was the Emcee for the performance. I would upload a video but I don't know if the stars of the show would approve. If I hear otherwise, I will definitely be posting footage!

aughghghghhhh!!!!

Work just will not let up. Every time I think things are settling down, something hits the fan again. Today we had a system problem that wasted half the day so everyone is even more behind. I am about to bust out the most annoying word in the English language - HECTIC!!!!

Middle School Surprise

Tonight I learned that there is a cemetery on the grounds of the new middle school. My kids will be attending this school when it opens up in the Fall. I can't wait for them to wake up tomorrow morning so I can tell them!!! Yes, I have strange children. :)

My Parenting Epiphany

All you parents know what I mean when I say that caring for a baby, toddler or preschooler is a full-time job in and of itself. All parents work, whether they stay at home or go to an office during the day. Some parents just don't make any money for their efforts, which is another topic for another time. Today I'm going to talk about when I realized my two girls were really maturing and becoming Big Kids. It wasn't a gradual process, as much of child-rearing tends to be. You change a million diapers, then slowly transition to Pull-Ups, then big girl underwear during the day, then at night. The baby is a big girl who uses the toilet, but only after beating the potty-training horse half to death over a long period of time. It wasn't reminiscent of the endless newborn days when you wish the baby would smile, sit up, roll over, play with a toy or anything besides the non-stop sleeping, pooping, peeing, eating and crying that has suddenly become your way of life.

I'll tell you how I knew I had finally attained the role of a Big Kid Mom.

One day when my girls were about 8 and 5, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a strange sensation. I had felt this way before, but not in many years. And it felt awesome.

I was BORED.

Not that I hadn't been bored during the previous 8 years. Playing the same game with your kids forever, reading the same story a billion times and other "small-child-friendly" activities are certainly boring at times. However, it's a different kind of boring. You're always busy with something, even if it's mundane. There's always some chore to be done, some task to take care of, and you feel like you can't ever really catch up. The house is a mess, there are meals that need preparing, you have to go grocery shopping and a fight is breaking out in the next room about "why does SHEEEEEEEEEEEE get the pink one???" You know the drill. And right when you feel like you are finally gaining ground, someone gets sick. Darn it!!!!

This was a different kind of bored feeling. The kind you used to get before you had kids. The kind where you HAVE NOTHING TO DO. I couldn't believe it. I was bored out of my mind, and it was the BEST feeling. My kids were actually entertaining themselves for more than 15 minutes at a time, and this pattern had been going on long enough for me to finally notice that I was getting some space to myself. It was a wonderful epiphany. I've been a Big Kid Mom for a couple of years now. Sometimes I get bored. And I tell myself to enjoy every second of it.

Doing Nothing is Fun!

This weekend we pretty much did Nothing. It's weird how doing Nothing can make you feel tired and then you end up taking a nap. I'm sure you know what I mean. On Saturday we sat around in our pajamas. I did make it to Costco and I cleaned the kitchen but that's it as far as productive tasks go. On Sunday we went to church and took a walk with Caitlin while Nicole played with her friend. Then the girls went to my parents' house to spend the night (school was closed Monday for the Presidents' Day holiday) and we went on a double date to an awesome steakhouse with our friends. Today I sat around in my pajamas and did Nothing again. I did work on something for the kids' school but it wasn't a major undertaking. However, I did end up getting tired after all of this Nothing I was doing and proceeded to take a 2 hour nap. Life is rough!!!

Ruths Chris.... BURRRRRP

Tonight we went to dinner with another couple. We ate at Ruths Chris, an excellent steakhouse. I feel fat now...

How to be a Passive-Aggressive Bridezilla

I'm starting to think that brides probably never forget the "Jerry Springer" moments they encounter during the wedding planning process. I just read this hilarious blog post (although I do take a big exception to the author's inappropriate use of the "r-word" - seriously?) and wondered how this particular bride-to-be might have responded to my now 12-year-old wedding planning quandaries that I have still not forgotten about....

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Situation #1: Future husband's boss does not understand and/or care about how invitations are addressed, because he proceeds to invite his 10-year-old daughter (invitation was addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Boss Man"). This might not have been such a big deal if Mr. Boss Man did not request that his child be served a vegetarian meal, which was not one of the stipulated menu choices.

My response: Complain about said boss (behind his back of course) and call the caterer to see if a vegetarian child's meal could be provided. The caterer was quite confused and had never actually prepared a vegetarian meal for someone who wasn't an adult, but she agreed to make veggie pasta at the regular kids' meal price.

Blogger's likely response: "Request that your future husband (FH) confront his boss about this obvious lack of what could be considered a properly functioning prefrontal cortex, preferably during an all-hands staff meeting. Make sure FH informs Mr. Boss Man that the vegetarian kids' meal consists of kidney beans with garlic sauce. FH should also remind him that his car windows will most likely be rolled up on the way home from the wedding reception because, well, it's hot in August and he'll need to have the A/C on in his methane mobile."

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Situation #2: Future in-law commandeering a car filled with 3 of the 6 bridesmaids traveling to the wedding rehearsal completely misses said rehearsal because he got lost. His vehicle containing 1/4 of the wedding party finally arrived at the rehearsal at least an hour and a half late. There was no phone call to the church to ask for directions or explain the tardiness, causing me to surmise that they must have gotten into an awful accident. (Note: this was before most people had cell phones and I'm pretty sure this individual did not have one or we would have called him ourselves.) By the time they finally arrived, everyone else had already gone through the rehearsal, sans the missing attendants. I was not provided with an apology.

My response: Get extremely annoyed but do not actually talk to the future in-law about it, because that would cause a confrontation. Wonder why other family members think the whole thing is amusing.

Blogger's likely response: "Tell your future in-law that you hope there will be food left over for him at the rehearsal dinner since it will probably take him another 90 minutes to figure out how to get there and you certainly won't be saving him any. Also, be sure to indicate that you will behave in a courteous manner by informing the other dinner attendants that he will be quite tardy, and to just go ahead and eat because he will be picking up some grub at Taco Bell instead."

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Situation #3: A relative told my father I was a "brat" because she didn't like my veil and because I didn't want to have a crying newborn baby in the church, who wasn't even invited in the first place. At least the baby didn't ask for a vegetarian meal.

My response: Get stressed out over relative's response but don't actually say anything to her about it. Tell people that the relative upset you so much that your womanly hormones were thrown out of whack, causing you to get pregnant 2 weeks after the wedding. Hey, at least it's an interesting story.

Blogger's likely response: "The bride's family members, especially those who are 'long in the tooth,' often feel the need to control the logistics of the wedding. This is a natural response, which can usually be deftly handled by noting that you hope you can return the favor by commandeering his or her funeral arrangements when the time comes. Suggest a nice spa party, or perhaps a rager with keg-stands if you think that will do the trick."

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Of course, I never would have said any of these things to anybody. I'm too passive-aggressive to actually incite a confrontation. But thinking about it is certainly fun. And I'm sure all you brides know what I mean. :)

This Blog Post is Being Pre-Empted by the Discovery Health Channel

I keep wanting to write something meaningful on here, but all I'm getting is a bunch of brain farts. So... I'm going to spend the rest of the night watching TV. :)

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

I was tucking in my 8 year old and she asked me to massage her head. Then she said "Grandyia (her grandmother) might seem weird, but she does give a good head scratch." I laughed out loud. Funny!!! :)

Adventures in Orthodontia

My youngest daughter got braces today. She's 8 years old! This is the "new way" of doing orthodontics. She only has two brackets for now, one on each of her top two center teeth. She will get two more brackets on the top at her next appointment and then that's it. She just needs more space in the back of her mouth and the front teeth are taking up too much room. She was very good about it. She has been really excited about getting braces ever since she found out that she would be needing them! My older daughter probably doesn't need braces at all. My wallet likes the sound of that! After all, we do have two weddings to pay for as it is. :)

Nothing to Talk About

Good Night!!!

40 Years!

Today is my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. Yes, they got married on Valentines Day. I guess I could say they did this because it was SO romantic, but the truth is they wanted to get married quickly and the church happened to be available that day. The wedding was very small by Greek standards (fewer than 50 people) and invitations were issued over the telephone. My mom wore a dress from Garfinckels, a store that hasn't existed in decades. Many of the people who attended the wedding have passed away, which is kind of depressing. It wasn't THAT long ago. Anyway - happy anniversary Mom and Dad!! :)

Summer Camp Shuffle

Wheeeee, it's that time of year again! We have to start thinking about summer plans when it's freezing cold outside with snow still on the ground so we can get the kids into the good camps before they're all full. Now that we're at it, why don't I just go Christmas shopping too? lol.

OMG!! I Went Clothes Shopping and Liked It!!

Ever since I can remember, I have detested shopping for clothes. I was a small child and nothing ever fit properly. Plus, I wasn't even interested in clothes. As I got older, things started fitting better but I still hated trying things on. I still think it's so boring. I know, I must not actually be a woman if I don't like to shop. However, I think I made some progress today. I went to the Ann Taylor outlet and didn't even begin to become fed up or irritated because things weren't fitting, didn't come in my size, etc. I was able to find a ton of reasonably priced items with minimal effort. I even got some cool sunglasses. Who knows, maybe I'm just a late bloomer. :)

Gathering My Materials

I'm in the process of getting my research materials together for the post I'm working on. There are some documents that I want to scan and upload with the post. I already have the docs, it's just a matter of finding them because I haven't looked at them in a long time and I'm not 100% sure where some of them are. I hope I can locate all the items!!

Working on a Post

I'm working on a post regarding a matter that I find to be quite intruiging. It will take some time for me to create the type of storytelling that I feel is needed in this case. I don't want to write a couple of quick paragraphs and be done with it - I want to be sure that I pay this issue the attention it deserves. So...stay tuned!!

Ho Hum

Today was boring and I can't think of anything to talk about. Plus, I'm tired. Good night!!

Have You Ever Noticed that Eyeballs Don't Age?

Call me a freak, but for some reason I've been noticing that people's eyeballs don't seem to age like the rest of the body does. Sure, maybe you can't see that well when you're old, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean is, the eyeball doesn't get wrinkly, flabby, discolored, etc. Have you ever seen a very old wrinkly person with piercing blue eyes? Sometimes it seems like their eyes don't match the rest of their face. Anyway.... that was weird. I'm going to bed.

Owwwwww

I went to the personal trainer today and confirmed my suspicions that my lower abs are completely useless. Also, my quads hurt. Going down the stairs ought to be fun for the next few days!!

Football is Dumb

It's Super Bowl Sunday and I'm looking forward to seeing friends at a party, but I couldn't care less about the actual game. I think something is wrong with my brain. Everyone else seems to like football, but I just don't understand what the big deal is. In fact, I couldn't care less about watching sports in general, with the one exception of watching my kids' games, because then it becomes something personal. Otherwise, I don't see how a bunch of guys throwing a ball around and jumping on each other should be a relevant part of my life. Have I mentioned that I hate beer, wine, champagne, and butter? Something is definitely wrong with me :)

I Must Be Nuts!

I just ran 5 miles on the treadmill and I feel so great that I would like to go back in and do another 5! This must be what runners' high feels like.

Gettin My Treasurer Thang On

I just returned from another successful PTA-sponsored event at my girls' elementary school. I never thought I would be a PTA Officer (I'm the Treasurer) but I must say it's been a very rewarding and fun experience so far. I wasn't sure if being a PTA Officer would be compatible with my other main jobs (mom/accountant), but it hasn't been as difficult to manage everything as I thought it might be. Also, I think it's good for my kids to see me helping out in the school, and we've been going to more events due to my involvement on the PTA Board. A win-win situation! :)

Today's Rant is Brought to You by the Letter P(ee)

Here's another one for the "people need to stop finding Subliminal Messages in news articles posted on the internet and cease their ranting and raving about said Messages in the comments section" files.

Here is an article about a 3 year old girl who was suspended from a county-run Montessori school for having too many "accidents."

In my opinion, legitimate comments might contain something to the effect of "this girl was obviously not ready for preschool in the Montessori environment because she was not completely potty trained as the rules required" or "it is ridiculous for the school to suspend a child who probably just needs a few additional reminders to get to the toilet."

Some people did say these things (most stuck with opinion #1), but others somehow decided that it's all the idiot Mother's fault because she is "too selfish" to stay home with her daughter instead of working, she shouldn't have had kids in the first place because she's obviously too self-absorbed to raise her daughter, she should have had her child toilet trained at 18 months as was the practice a generation ago, etc.

Excuse me?!?!? I thought the article was supposed to be about a child who was suspended from school, not an evaluation of the child's mother. Also, I didn't hear anyone complaining about how the father should stay home, encourage the child to use the toilet, spend more time with the child, etc. A few of the 396 (so far!!!) comments contained questions regarding the whereabouts of the dad, but that's about as much as he was ever brought up. In all fairness, the dad was not mentioned in the article, so it does make sense that the comments did not focus on him either.

I don't even know why I bother reading article comments, because they usually just drive me batty. Some people seem to want to twist the topic and turn it into their own personal agenda instead of staying on point by sharing relevant opinions. Annoying....

Race Season is Coming Up!!!

I want to do some 5K and maybe even 10K races this year, but who knows if I'll have time to train. I need to spend more time with my family, but that doesn't mean I want to become an out-of-shape sloth. I'll have to fit my training in somehow. Hopefully work will start calming down soon so I can get some more free time....

25 Years Ago, I Was Middle School Royalty!!!! NOT

If you're like me and you tend to have epiphanies in the shower, you'll know what it feels like to be shaving the ol' pits and suddenly go "HOLY CRAP!!" That's what happened to me today. Don't even ask why I started thinking about this, least of all in the shower, because it hasn't crossed my mind in years. It occurred to me that 25 years ago this month, I was part of the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Junior High School Valentine Court. You know, The Valentine Court?? As in where the kids nominate the most attractive and popular students to represent the school at the Valentine Dance, and the two Most Popular Seventh Graders will be crowned the Valentine Prince and Princess!

I was nominated as a joke. And I'm not joking.

Yes, I was quite the piece of work in elementary school and middle school. Hideous clothes, Steve Urkel glasses and a personality in need of some serious fine-tuning. I had no idea how to communicate with others, and the kids were somehow able to sniff out my inner dorkiness from a mile away. I had held the unofficial title of Classroom Nerd for the last two years, but even greater honors awaited in the wasteland that was middle school.

One morning, my homeroom (PE = Nerd Hell) teacher asked us to nominate students for the Valentine Court. A girl yelled, "I pick Rebekah!" Giggles and whispering ensued. Then everyone started egging me on. "Yeah. Rebekah, you should do it! Come on!" It seemed like they actually WANTED me to do it, so I said sure. I didn't, or couldn't, see it for what it was. I was time for me to get my 15 minutes.

Over the next few weeks, I got all kinds of attention from The Popular Girls. A few of them stopped me in the lunch room to ask what kind of dress I was going to wear to the Valentine Dance. The garment of choice was a blue Yves St. Laurent (!!!) dress that looked like a satin balloon valance exploded and landed on me. I thought it was beautiful. The Popular Girls smiled and nodded as I described my wonderful gown. Everyone was overly nice to me in the days leading up to the Big Event. A few people tried to tell me I was being played, but I didn't want to believe them even though I must have known they were being honest. A guidance counselor pulled me out of class and asked if I really wanted to be on the Court, and I said that I did. I'm not sure why the administration didn't just put a stop to it.

After school on the day of the Valentine Dance, I remember applying makeup in the girls' bathroom next to one of the legitimate members of the Court, the daughter of a NFL Football Player. "Don't put on too much of that," she said in a syrupy voice. I remember going out on stage as the Court members were called. The applause was really loud, kind of like in the movie Carrie, except unfortunately for me I don't have any telekinetic powers. Thankfully, nobody dumped a bucket of pig blood on me either, so I guess I shouldn't complain. There was also a boy who had been nominated to the Court as a joke, and he was up there on the stage too. Apparently he did not have any telekinetic powers either. Of course, that boy and I won last place, probably with zero votes. A pretty blonde 8th grader won Valentine Queen and a Korean 7th grader was crowned the Valentine Princess. That's all I remember of the Valentine Dance.

Of course, the next day, the bullying escalated to new and previously unseen levels. Kids went out of their way to torment me for my stupidity. I was yelled at out of the school bus window, kids pointed at me and laughed in the hallways, and my only friend told me that she wasn't going to speak to me in the school building anymore because it was too embarrassing and she didn't want to be seen with me. I was twelve years old, and this event basically dominated my life for the next ten years. I didn't have any good friends until I graduated from high school. I desperately wanted my parents to move so I could attend a different school, but moving wasn't going to happen and besides, I was so socially inept that I probably wouldn't have done any better at a different middle school or high school. Even through college, I always assumed everyone hated me and didn't care to be my friend. I generally didn't feel like I belonged anywhere, partly because I just didn't relate to the other kids, and partly because of the incessant bullying I had dealt with. There is much more to this story, but I don't want to go there right now.

Anyway - once I got married and had kids, I found other things to think about besides my general worthlessness. In fact, having my own family helped me to establish a sense of self-regard that had been buried up until that point. These days, I have friends. I make people laugh. I'm good at my job and I hope I'm a good mom too. My kids don't appear to be headed down the same path I traveled, and for that, I'm thankful. My older daughter is headed to middle school next fall, and I'm watching like a hawk. Because the only thing I can imagine being worse than complete ostracism is watching it happen to your child.